Happy Birthday Martin (I know it’s late but yeah whatever)
I guess I have too much patient waiting for you to come. Can’t you open your facebook and confirm my request? Can’t u have just 5 minutes time to text me? Can’t u have 5 minutes to call me? Or if you want, I can call you for sure. I’m tired cause everyday I wait for you. I’m sick off waiting. But, I’ll do everything just for u. I don’t ask too much, I just want you to come and say hi to me and give me your number phone. It’s more than a year I’ve waited. Yeaaa more than a year. You don’t know that every single day, hour, minute, and second the only one after my mom who comes to my mind is YOU. Yes you.
Just red a fact if we have a crush on someone it will be no longer than 4months. But it’s been more than a year. I guess I’m…….with you, Martin. Since the first time I saw you from distance in Gili Trawangan at Art Market. I wondered who you were. Your nice eyes, beautiful smile and of course, your juicy lips made me melt. I couldn’t resist them till now. You made me curious about yourself. Once I said “I’ll be very lucky if I can talk to you even though just for a minute” I could do nothing to talk to you cause I’m too much shy to start. I just wished it.
Until you passed three times around me and the third, MY HEART BEATED. Yes my heart was beating at that time. So fast. Even the whole world could not help its beat. You and your friends finally sat next to me. I thought Natalie was your girlfriend and it made me broken. But she was NOT. Lucky I was. Just had two rows of seat from you and me. I wasn’t brave enough to even stare at you but wished something happened between us. A miracle. Yes a miracle. Until your Italian friend asked me to sit next to you but I said no. To be honest, I really wanted it. Yes I really wanted. I was just too shy. I wish your friend asked me once again. And he did. After we talked from far, finally I sat next to you. You would never know how it meant everything to me. Don’t you remember our first convo was about asking our names and from? You see, your name was the only name I remembered first. Martin. Yes Martin. A beautiful name. And you were 23. I guess you were 25 or 26. So mature. You didn’t say you were from Czech Republic but you said Prague. I heard it Braga Portugal and you corrected me. Ah Prague is my favorite city even though I’ve never been there. You said Prague in a good way with your duck face lips. Damn, that glasses guy called you really stole my heart.
Our convo was being continued by playing ‘Magic Finger’ which is the game among fingers. I had reason to touch your hand but you didn’t know it. Because you had no feeling at all to me but I did. You didn’t even know how it meant everything to me. Words couldn’t describe how happy I was. Untill you and Luke asked me to go to Sama Sama Bar. We had nice convos over there. That moment when you told me that you would leave tomorrow, really shocked me. It was like an earthquake on my whole body that shaked me. Oh nooooo, how came you would leave when I just met you that night? I said NOOOOO. Even though you had been there for 8 days, I wanted you to stay. Wohoo I was lucky. Thank you Martin. With old rock and reggae songs musics, especially Wild World by Mr. Big. That song is our song. You drank too much, Martin. Luke paid me for small bir bintang. We talked about your country Czech Republic that had the most amazing beer in the world. You were so proud being Czech. Your body is really nice. You like running and that is why. At that time when I told you I like swimming but I can’t, it meant a code for you. Unfortunately you could not read it. Poor I was. You were not interested in me. You didn’t like me but that’s okay. I never ask anyone to like me because I’m ugly, nothing and nobody likes me. The thing I liked on you was you were a master degree student.
Hey, why didn’t you stop making that duck face with your lips? Every time I saw your lips I used to want to kiss it so bad but NO WAY. I wouldn’t. Because I was not even your girlfriend that deserved every single little thing on you, Martin. To be honest, you made me…..
The night almost ended. Ah I hate it. I wanted to spend all the night with you. Till you said “meet me up at 9pm tomorrow here” that really impressed me. Cant wait for tomorrow night.
In the day I wish I could meet you. But I didnt. I just had sunbathing, walked around in that beautiful and small island. I was about to look for your hotel. I still remembered you stayed at Bale Sasak. But….the only one I met was Luke. He was biking and shouting my name out so loud. It was nice to know when Luke said that you still didn’t leave. Couldn’t wait for night to meet you. The sun went down and I prepared everything to meet my only crush. Taking shower, having my hair shampoo-ed, soaping my whole body to make it sure I smelled well. I just did that because I never and dont know how to wear make up and dressed well.
Well, I had my dinner at Art Market. The place where I met you for the first time. And, I saw a black shirt guy and it was you. I was so happy. Having dinner with you and…..with Natalie too. The girl I thought that she was your gf. You were so fresh and pretty, Martin. Damn I wanted you so bad. I wanted to touch you but I had no right. We had our dinner but you chose the seat next to her not me :( I used to see the way you ate only with fork. Why? I really dont know. You seemed to like Indonesian cuisine so much especially soya bean. I told you that in Malang there were many tempe and you said that I was lucky. “If you come to Malang, I’ll give you soya beans as many as you ask” that was my offer to you. And if you really come to Malang, I’ll give you more than just a soya bean. Yea MORE of course.
After having dinner, we wanted to buy ice cream and go to Sama Sama Bar. And Natalie went. I was happy cause it was only you and me. We didnt buy ice cream. I dont know why. I forgot. Yeay finally we were at our Bar. Our song started to play. Uuuuhh baby baby it’s a wild world. I like being there. With local people. You and me. Hmm perfect. But someone ruined it. Niels. Yeah Niels. I didn’t understand why you and Niels talked really nice. You didn’t realise that you ignored me so much. That made me sad. I had no one to talk except local people. You were really nice and polite. That made me fall in love with you. But I realised I was nothing. You gave your number phone to that old Danish man. Martin, I cant take you out of my mind. What should I do? I like it when I saw your passport and I laughed. You looked so chubby. Like an emo bandit but still cute. I like it when I opened your lonely planet book about Indonesia in Czech. Woah I understood nothing. I showed you Madura Island. My island where I spend all my whole life. You spelled it in a cute way. “Pulau Madura” aww I fell in love so much. You promised me to come to Madura island someday. I’ll wait forever. Niels asked you about your promise and you answered Pulau Madura. Niels gave you his pen to mark it (to always remember your promise) but you denied it and laughed. That night was amazing. Maybe for you it was nothing. Spending night with retard and ugly Indonesian girl like me meant NOTHING. Oh Lord, what a lucky girl who has you. I remembered when you asked me to come to Prague. Your voice, your smile, your eyes, your lips. Everything on you I like and I love. Even though you WILL NEVER LIKE ME.
You still talked so loud with your short-holiday-Danish-granddaddy called Niels. You gave your number phone to him. I was doubt to ask it but I really wanted. I asked for your facebook and email. You see, it’s hard for me to do that but I thought if I didnt ask that, I would regret it. You gave it to me. Thank you.
Well, the time was up. Time to go. Oh nooooo. I didn’t want our night ended. That moment when you took me to my hostel and we walked together. I wish my hostel was very very very far awaaaaaaaaayyyyy from Sama Sama Bar so we could walk away for longer. Finally we arrived at Gili Trawangan Hostel. You said and promised that you would come to Indonesia again. But I was doubt. Impossible if you would. But you had promised it. I asked for your number phone as you gave it yours to Niels but you didnt. You said that I alreday had your email. Oh ok, I wouldn’t ask it anymore. You were NOT interested in me. If you were, of course you would gave it bcs you dont wanna lose me. Thats okay Martin, as I said before I never ask anyone to like me. And it’s very impossible for you to like me cause I’m nothing. But you will always be everything to me. It was very hard for me to say Goodbye to you. Nooooooooo I didnt want to lose you. I wish we could go out or do something but if it was me who asked first, I didnt want. I let you to make a move but you didnt. You could not read the clue. Or you never liked me. Ah thats okay. I touched your flat and adorable belly. That was enough for me. Thank you for taking me to my hostel. Hope we’ll meet soon amen.
Some short convos that I still remember between us:
Me: how much beer in Prague?
Martin: at about half euro. It’s expensive here
Me: look there are many Indonesian girls here.
Martin: well, I’m not looking for that. Not my style.
Martin: come to Prague
Me: convince me.
Martin: the most beautiful city in the world, nice people, good beers. You should come.
Martin: I’m not tourist. I’m backpaker
Me: if you are not tourist, the. Who is the tourist?
Martin: *pointing Niels*
Well, happy birthday Martin. I wish I could say it to you cause I’m in YOUR COUNTRY AND YOUR CITY but it seems so hard to find you.
hey why u have deleted me in Skype??
WHO ARE YOU??????